As we have been waiting many friends and family members have been pregnant and have welcomed beautiful babies into there families. This doesn't make me sad, I am glad and excited for them to be blessed with a baby. I'm just waiting for our turn.
2 years is a long time. That's a whole 9 month pregnancy and enjoying your baby for 15 months. Watching your baby learn, grow and become a toddler. If you have a 15 month old baby right now, We have been waiting as long as when you first found out you were pregnant. Or if you are a student that is 2 whole grades. That's a long time for my kids to be waiting to play with there new sibling/s.
Time really does go slow when you are waiting for something. Something that will change your life forever. During this waiting time some days, weeks and months seem to go buy faster than others. But some days like these past rainy, dreary days are real downers. Keeping busy has helped me. Its hard when you make plans but always in the back of your head you think "Yes, I will do that, IF I'm not in Africa." I have done this with concerts, coffee dates, jobs, vacations, summer plans and holidays. Then the event comes and goes and I am glad that I have continued to live my life this past 2 years. But it's also a reminder of the fact that now that event is a distant memory and here we are still waiting.
Holidays like Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, Summer, Mother's Day, Birthday ect. are extra hard. The build up and excitement to the holiday is long and during this time I will be thinking *maybe* we will be in Africa during this holiday? But no the holiday comes closer. Then I think *maybe* we will get a call just before the agencies close for the holidays. I think what a nice gift that would be. but no still no call. Then during the holiday I'm waiting for the agencies to open again and thinking well *maybe* by the next holiday we will be matched. Or I think for sure by next Christmas or summer but then that time passes by too. It really is an emotional roller coaster. And just so you know I Hate Roller Coasters!
I've made deals in my head, thinking "when I finish reading this book on toddler adoption" would be a good time to get a referral. Or "when I finish this book on building attachment in adoptions." or when the kids are on summer holidays. or when T. isn't so busy at work. or when the house in organized but it doesn't work we are still waiting.
Waiting is the hardest thing I have done in my life. Some days make the waiting easier, mostly busy days and weeks. But slow, quiet, rainy, dreary days like this are hard. Please Lord, I can't wait much longer. I am getting drained. Please finish the CIC Review so that we can get a referral for our child/ren. I desperately want to see their face, to hold them, to welcome them into our family forever. I've heard someone say before that they need Africa more than Africa needs them. I agree I need Africa. I am so ready. Please pray that the CIC review is completed and that we get a referral soon.
Love Dilly
