Sunday, April 1, 2012

You asked...

I gave you the chance to ask me questions about our adoption. Please understand that these are my answers and my opinions. So here are your questions:

Is it easier to adopt within Canada or internationally? Or does the process take long for both?
     Well To first answer this question you should know that there are 3 types of adoption:
1) Private open adoption. This is where the birth mother chooses the family. The speed of this really just depends on the when you get picked. It could be quick or it could take years.
2) Adoption through the foster system. I think this would be the quickest if the birth parents have already lost there right to parent. If the child is still going through the courts this could be a long heart breaking time. But really I don't know much about this type of adoption and if you are interested you should contact Children's Services.
3) International adoption. International adoptions are becoming more and more difficult because of new laws and regulations. If you are adopting internationally you need to be aware of the Hague Convention. You can find out more about that here: http://www.cic.gc.ca/ENGLISH/immigrate/adoption/hague.asp There is becoming less and less countries that are allowing international adoptions and different countries open and close for adoption at different times. Some international adoptions happen quick but I think most, as I am finding out, take awhile.

Why did you choose to adopt from South Africa?
     We choose to adopt internationally because we felt that God was calling us to do it. We knew we wanted a child of African decent so our choices in countries were USA, Haiti, Ethiopia or South Africa. The USA program is similar to private adoptions in Canada were the birth parents pick the family for adoption of a newborn. We weren't really set on adopting a newborn. We started our adoption journey a couple months after the earthquake in Haiti so we were not sure how adoption were going to proceed. Also with the Haiti program you are matched quickly with a child but then have to wait until all the paperwork is complete before you can bring them home. I figured this would be really hard on me, to be match to my child and having to watch them grow in photo's until I could finally bring them home. Ethiopia had a really long waiting list and was slow moving. We felt that South Africa was the perfect choice for us. My Dad has been to South Africa many times and we knew a few people from South Africa so we instantly felt connected. When we first started our adoption journey South Africa adoptions were going smoothly.

How many are you planning to adopt? And what ages?
    In our home study we have been approved to adopt 1 or 2 children, under the age of 5. The youngest they would be is 9 months because they have to stay in South Africa until then. We will either get 1 child or 2 which could be 2 brothers, 2 sisters, 1 brother and 1 sister or twins. If we get 2 children they would have to be siblings you can not adopt 2 unrelated children at the same time.

Will the children know English and any other languages?
     South Africa has 11 official languages Afrikaans, English, Ndebele, Northern Sotho, Sotho, Swazi, Tswana, Tsonga, Venda, Xhosa and Zulu. I believe that they will know English and possibly Xhosa or Zulu or Afrikaans.

Where are the children living now? And who is looking after them?
     I believe the children are living in an orphanage or a children's home in or near the Durban area. They are being cared for by nannies or orphanage workers that care for them and provide them love until their forever family is united with them.

What's taking so long? Are you getting any closer?
     This is a question I wonder often. The short answer is Government red tape on both sides. South Africa got some new laws regarding adoption so we were waiting for our agency to receive accreditation, which we received in the fall. We are waiting for a working agreement to be signed which I think maybe done now! So lastly we are waiting for the Citizenship and Immigration Canada (CIC) to complete it 15 month long investigation into "irregularities" I pray this will wrap up within the month. I do believe that we are getting closer. There really is no timeline but I think it has to be soon. :)

What happens when you get a referral or a match?
     When we get a referral we will receive a call from our adoption agency saying that we have been matched! Then they will email us photo's and information about the child or children. This information could be lots of details or little details, it really depends on what they know about the child. This will be background information about the child or children. It will talk about their personality, development and their personal life story. This will be an amazing day that I dream of often. We will then review the information and meet with a doctor that is familiar with international adoption, then we will meet with the adoption agency to complete more paperwork. Before the hold up in adoptions families would then travel to South Africa 4-6 weeks later for court and to meet there child and stay in South Africa for 4 weeks. I'm not sure if we will have a longer wait until we actually travel to South Africa for court now or not? This will be a busy time making travel arrangements and preparing our house for the child or children. I do know that when we do go to South Africa we will be required to stay 6 weeks now. During this 6 week period we will be bonding and building attachment and attending court.

Thank you for your questions, If you want more information about adoption I will try and help you the best I can. If you are considering adoption for your family, my advice to you is to start sooner that you think and put your file into two countries if your allowed. Please pray that we get a referral soon and get to meet our precious child or children in South Africa soon. Love Dilly

3 comments:

  1. My heart breaks for you guys...I hope that your journey will come to an end sooner than later and you can hold that precious child/children in your arms. You can tell they will be loved so much!

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  2. I'm glad to hear that the agreement has been signed and I hope that means that there will start to be referrals. I have a few friends who are also waiting in the South Africa program and I would be so excited for all of you as well as for the many waiting children, to see things moving again!

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  3. Hi, we met at the "Together for Adoption" conference. We just got word yesterday that we did not get matched at the meeting yesterday. We know God is in control but it is disappointing. I feel with you!

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